This text is an official update of the story from the author.
This text is the suggested action the author chose for the main character to perform.
This text is a comment from the author.
Chapter 1: Wreckage
Lookin' out a dirty old window... Down below the cars in the city go rushing by. You sit there alone and you wonder why.
Er... I mean, You are an average guy. You just moved into your average apartment in an average city, but the average moving truck has not yet arrived with all your average stuff. It's actually several hours late. Basically all you have with you is the things that came with your average apartment, and the average TV you carried with you in your cab ride over. Oh yes, and the part about the cars in the city rushing by IS true. There seems to be kind of a hubbub outside, and people are running past the pizza place across the street. Well, what should you do to pass the time waiting for the ever-so-late moving truck?
Chang: Go outside. See what's up.
Canieo: And then pick your nose.
LB: YAY! NEW STORY!
That map is really detailed...
Turn on the TV...
futuramaguy42: Go to the average pizza place and make some average friends. XD
???revived: Do something above-average...
Atreyroon: Nice, umm, the pizzeria seems like a average thing to do. So i'm with who ever said go to the pizza place to order an average cheese pizza...
Go outside. See what's up.
LB: I'm afraid were're going with that, guys...
And then pick your nose.
Chang: is that an average thing to do?
LB: Ummmmm... *cough cough* uh... *picks nose*...
Chang: uh... you're 11 ... you don't count.
futuramaguy42: Look at people on the street. 1/3 of them are picking there nose. And the rest are thinking about picking there nose. Its very scientific.
You step just outside your apartment building, pickin' your nose, as you understand average people commonly do... And you see some guy with a hat and bright green pants running by yelling "CHAOS IN THE STREETS! THIS IS MADNESS!"... And off in the distance you hear some obscure reply that sounded like it might've been referring to the Magna Carta... Oh well, that's not important. You'd think this guy never saw somebody pick their nose. It's not THAT uncommon. Perhaps he is what the young folks refer to as a "crazed hobo on crack." Anyway, across the street, you see somebody just stepping out of the pizzeria. He must be a messy eater, because it looks like he got more red sauce on himself than red sauce on pasta. It must've made him sick too, because he looks a bit green.
???revived: Averagely ask the green dude what's going on...
CAN'T YOU SEE HE IS A ZOMBIE?!?!?!
But honestly, look at his eyes!
Ragdollmaster:The guy with the hat might be averagley insane. But i doubt thats pizza sauce, and he wouldnt turn ttly green and only get a green tinge in the face. So yea i think its a zombie who finished sucking out the blood of the restaurant owners. So yea. Run. Like. Average hell -_-
futuramaguy42:We should take a potted plant as a weapon so they Green Guy doesen't take our blood.
P.S The nose picking thing was funny.
I take the first post...
WERE GETTING EATEN BY A ZOMBIE!!!...
Unless it's a happy zombie ^_^...
And you see some guy with a hat and bright green pants running by yelling "CHAOS IN THE STREETS! THIS IS MADNESS!"... And off in the distance you hear some obscure reply that sounded like it might've been referring to the Magna Carta... Oh well, that's not important.
THIS... IS... SPARTA!
Chang:... What would an average man do?
Atreyroon:Suck on his thumb?
That is what the average man would do duh.. or ignore the blood thirsty fag and go order his ordinary peperonni pizza... durr
BLOOD MASS MURDER, THE PIZZA MAKER MAN IS DEAD the freaking zombie ate his face and munched on his innerds AND THEN he sucked the blood out from his veins like a damn straw!! RAWR GRRR RAAHHH
LittleGreenMan:Pick the average running guy's nose to show him how average it is!
You amble on over to the sloppy green fellow outside the pizza place and try to strike up a conversation about the crisis that seems to be on everyone's mind, but he just sorta moans at you. Talk about rude, eh? The conversation doesn't last too long though, as a chair soon comes crashing through the glass door and hits the dude in his head. Knocked it right off too! And you thought this was such a nice neighborhood... A voice soon yells at you from inside "HEY! Are you stupid or something?! You don't just walk up and talk to a guy like that!" Well, where to next?
???revived:Enter the building and ask what's going on...
LB:I'm never going to reply first it seems... Oh, and Trooth/Loofiloo, you didn't edit the delete post buttons yet, the ones the are just an X next to edit.
Supermonstar:This new layout freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaks me out...
Ragdollmaster:i like the layout
Anyway, before entering the building, try checking the mans pockets for any items.
LB:Ahem: You didn't edit the delete post buttons yet, the ones the are just an X next to edit.
ATOMIC_DUCK:Ahem: Shut the fuck up.
How is he supposed to create new edit buttons, or read you post, if he isn't even online?
LB:Ahem: I saw him online earlier.
ATOMIC_DUCK:I'm sure he has better things to do.
Maybe, oh, I don't know, school?
LB:School was out 3 hours ago.
All right! Have your delete!
LB:Sorry if I made you mad... I was just pointing it out...
There wasn't much to speak of in the dead guy's pockets. All he had was a pen (not even any money). You go inside to meet the person who threw the chair through the door, and they say to you "I'm pretty sure that guy was a zombie. In zombie situations, it's generally a good idea to act less retarded than you did. I don't know where that guy came from. I just fell asleep at work today, and when I woke up, all the other pizzeria employees were gone, and that green guy was just leaving. I wonder just how many zombies there are in the city at this point?" And just then, you hear moaning as another zombified fellow ambles by the window.
???revived:Use the pen as a weapon and attempt to attack the zombie...
Being in GMT -8 is certainly nice...
IT WERE A ZOMBIE!!!
I WERE RIGHT XD XD XD!!!
But a pen wont do crap :P i suggest throwing out one of the chairs again, and then looting the guy again!
EDIT: After the zombie is dead, go notify the authorities that there has been some kind of outbreak of a zombie-incurring disease so that they can send out military forces before it's too late.
Use the pen as a weapon and attempt to attack the zombie...
Supermonstar:I agree, but be careful not to be bitten!
So since ???revived has made a suggestion in this chapter already, I'm going with the next one down the list.
LB:OK, since no one else has made a suggestion, I'm going to. I say throw a chair at that zombie too, but don't touch him... go to the police station and tell them about it and ask if they know anything, but do it in a way that you won't get arrested.
There was already a suggestion made. Ragdollmaster said it.
Ragdollmaster:Yeah but what lb said was exactly what i did :P except for the police station part... i should edit my post
It seems to me that the novelty of the site might be wearing off, and lots of people are visiting less often than they used to. All I can do now is hope that this site doesn't end up totally dead.
Seeing the other zombie person approaching, you chuck a chair out the already-broken door, and it breaks over their head just like the last one. In the guy's pockets, you find ten bucks! All right! But once outside, the pizzeria worker points behind you and says "Hey, looks like we have yet another zombie approaching from that direction!" With all these zombified people popping up, it seems like it'd be a good idea to notify the authorities, but you're new in town and you don't know where the police or anybody else may be... What can an average guy do?
Ragdollmaster:Yeah i have noticed that. My CYOA's are practically dead and most of the other ones would probably be if i didnt visit the site every 5 minutes.
Anyways ask the worker to call 911 and then grab some more chairs but get back in the building - only use the chairs if a zombie enters the shop though! And try poking them away instead of throwing every chair away
EDIT: Actaully you should get some knives from the kitchen as melee weapons in case you run out of chairs to throw
Chang:An average man would never ask for directions. Look for the police station by your own damn self. ACCEPT HELP FROM NO ONE!!! hahaha.
LB:That's not helping, and it's too late anyway.
Chang:Of course it's helping. I'm helping that average man keep his average dignity. It's a man thing. You'll understand when you become one.
By Jewish standards, I think that's about a year from now.
Chang:I'm not jewish. :)
Ragdollmaster:And the size of your condoms XD
LB:Manlyness is not mesured. Only jerks that are stupid enoughf put ranks on men.
Chang:... you're a hermaphodite, aren't you?
Don't you just love people who are incapable of playing along with sarcasm? I know I DO!!
LB:I don't aprecieate sarcasm, and I often ignore it. Nothing sarcastic here.
ATOMIC_DUCK:That post about manliness was supposed a to a quick one liner, but then homosexual penis jokes and unnecessary arguments turned it into lame.
Chang:Well that's no fun at all.
Ragdollmaster:Ask the worker to call 911
<_< That's the third suggestion you've made in the chapter. On the main site, look in The Average Guy's Story, and if your name is highlighted in blue anywhere on that single chapter's page, you can't suggest something until the next chapter.
Ragdollmaster:fine, dont take my suggestion, c if i care * 5 seconds later* PLZ TAKE IT! [/sarcasm]
Then some1 plz reply so we can get this thing moving
Shook:Chuck a chairleg after the third zombie, and ask if the employee has a phone.
Copyright 2007-2012 Trooth