This text is an official update of the story from the author.

This text is the suggested action the author chose for the main character to perform.

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Chapter 1: Assault the Inanimate

Once upon a time, you were part of an aspiring crew of potentially-infamous bandits in the merry old land of medievalry. They brought you out to some isolated cottage near the woods, because the person living there allegedly was keeping something very valuable. You're not sure what, since they don't really tell you much about your work. All they told you was to stay near the tree by the trail and fight off anyone who approaches... Which might be a little easier if they'd left you some sort of weapon for self-defense. That was about three hours ago. Maybe they forgot about you... Or maybe they abandoned you because all your raw banditting potential was intimidating to them. Or maybe they snuck away because they don't want to look at your stupid hat. Or maybe they're in trouble! What should you do about those neglectful/jeopardized co-workers of yours?

Cesar:If I may:

Walk toward the house but still stay by the road, then see if you can hear something from there or maybe see something through the windows. If you don't, move closer to the house and peek through the window.

Zero_Ctrl:That's awfully complicated.
One step at a time, remember?
Why don't we go with:

"Walk toward the house but still stay by the road"

Cesar:I don't remember anything, I just got here....

Zero_Ctrl:You didn't do them at Ragdollsoft?

jaredvcxz:Take off the stupid hat.

futuramaguy42:Look what's inside the house.

You didn't do them at Ragdollsoft?

Cesar:I did, I even made some of my own.
It's just that that's a pretty long while ago and I just came back.

But I can see my suggestion is too complicated, so why don't we go with:

'Walk toward the house but still stay by the road and see if you can hear something from there or maybe see something through the windows.'

that's one step, right?

Zero_Ctrl:You should avoid using conjunctions.
Especially 'or' and 'but'

The command itself is fine, but the wording is off.

"Sneak towards the house and look in the window."

Cesar:That's it, I'm gonna sue you.
I never said that.

In all seriousness though, I think Trooth gets the idea and he can simplify it all he wants. Is the wording of the suggestion that important here?

But okay, I'll try again.

Approach the house to see if you can hear or see anything.

Zero_Ctrl:Maybe I'm just being picky. XD
I just like it being clear so Trooth doesn't get confused and end up killing off the character.

Anyway, that last one is good.

EDIT: That's ten replies, gotta stop.



Choose new character:

The whole area seems to be eerily quiet. You hear nobody in the cabin (certainly not a crew of cutthroat bandits) so you look in one of the windows. Inside you see some various boring sitting-room materials. A big cabinet/wardrobe near the window, a fairly nice rug on the floor, and a weakly-burning fireplace with some sort of pot cooking over it.

Zero_Ctrl:Smash your face against the window.

futuramaguy42:Then look in the wardrobe.

715379:Then smash wardrobe.

With face?


Zero_Ctrl:I fear the bandit won't last long if we do this. XD


Shook:Do a FaceBlast™ to get through the wall, not the window. Obviously. Alternatively, go through the door in the most extreme manner possible.

crap crap crap forgot to update yesterday. Will try to get it up in a few hours when I'm out of class

futuramaguy42:YOU BASTARD

jaredvcxz:Remember what I said about the hat.

crap crap crap forgot to update yesterday.
Zero_Ctrl:This fits your avatar perfectly XD

You know, they always say bandits have the toughest faces... Don't they? Well, you put the old saying to the test (you think it's a common saying) and use your powerful face to open the window. It takes a few tries, but you finally get through the thing... Though you do feel a little dizzy now, and your hat fell off. What should you do when you regain balance?

715379:Put your hat back on, and eat the dresser.

I say we search the dresser for anything interesting.

I'm having fun here :3
EDIT: Are you going to publish this on the main site, or is that going to be after the story ends?

It's already on the main site............. Wait, actually I think I haven't yet made a link to it in the "CYOAs" section, but if you click the little update button near the top it'll take you to the full bandit story so far.

Shook:Check the pot in the stove in the most extreme manner possible. Maybe it's something edible, or a magical Potion of Awesome or something.

jaredvcxz:You guys really want him to die <.<


Here Bandit saw the first monster because the dresser was posessed and had headcrabs. "I cant give you my lisense dresser" Bandit said. "Why not?" said the headcrab dresser back to Bandit. "Because you are headcrab zombie" so Bandit shot the oficer in the head and...

Wait, wrong story.

Deftly regaining your consciousness after face-bashing the window in, you can finally sink your teeth into the mystery of what happened to your bandit comrades... Or... The dresser. Sink your teeth into the dresser... Yes. The dresser puts up a hell of a fight, and tastes absolutely awful, but your powerful bandit teeth are sure to bring out a victory... Sooner or later! As a matter of fact, you can feel in your teeth that the dresser is all ready to surrender! Should you lay the finishing blow on it somehow, or devise a new strategy?

715379:Take a break and eat whatever's in the cauldron.

Zero_Ctrl:Aw, 715379 and I have already posted.

jaredvcxz:I wonder when people will take this seriously...

Probably not until at least I start taking it seriously

jaredvcxz:Bandit CYOA: Srs bznz

Zero_Ctrl:#'s answered last time.
Throw your stupid skullcap at the dresser and look what is inside the cauldron.

jaredvcxz:When my turn :<

Well it's technically Tuesday and I don't have a request I could use. Number guy and ZC, you've both had a turn in this chapter... And Jared, I'm pretty sure you could make a request, but there isn't one in either of your posts. Wat do

Cesar:I'd help you out, but truth is I also did a suggestion in this chapter, GAH!

maybe you should alter the rules a bit until more people get active.

Or maybe everyone should go out and tell all their friends to sign up because we have less than like 5 people responding


My suggestion: Check the dresser for anything useful.

Shook:Check the pot in the stove. Might be a delicious chicked stew!

I know I'm currently REALLY LATE, but school has been really kicking my ass this week. Three of my classes simultaneously assigned papers that are due around the same time, so I've had to be all responsible this week, sadly. Just letting everyone know I'm not dead.

Zero_Ctrl:I understand your pain.

You open the wardrobe and inside, you find... A mystical snowy wonderland! You meet a nice faun and you soon meet the local lion/god and before long you rise through the ranks of the kingdom ruling justly with your brothers and sisters and there are lots of talking animals and battles and junk.

Wait, wrong story.

You open the wardrobe and inside, you find... A bunch of fruity-looking robes. If you can trust in your knowledge of the customs of this land of medievalry, these robes probably belong to a gay wizard guy, or a little girl. Of course, this would have to be a large little girl, so it's probably just some wizard guy with fruity taste in clothing. In his drawer are several books and some weird-looking sticks. Probably firewood. If it were your wardrobe, you'd probably store much cooler things inside.

futuramaguy42:Throw your bandit clothes away, put on the pink robe thats on the far right, grab a few books, and a weird stick, and proclaim that you are the gayest wizard in town as you twirl the stick around wildly.

Zero_Ctrl:This this this GOD this.



On to Chapter 2: Let's Get Fabulous