This text is an official update of the story from the author.

This text is the suggested action the author chose for the main character to perform.

This text is a comment from the author.

This text is a comment from another user.

This text means the user quoted somebody else to respond directly to their comment.

Chapter 2: Let's Get Fabulous

Tossing your old bandit clothes out the window, you put on the most fabulous robe in the dresser and declare yourself the gayest thing since Tom Bombadil. With a handful of books in your pockets, you twirl one of the sticks from the drawer through the air, creating sparks and other fabulous phantasms. If only your ol' bandit friends could see how far you've come!

jaredvcxz: Use the magic wand to teleport your friends there.

Zero_Ctrl: Yay for updates.

Shook: You should totally go left and explore the rest of the house. In a very gay manner of course.


Zero_Ctrl: He's still allowed to throw out a suggestion, in hopes of changing your mind.

Shook: Bitch, i never did get my turn in this delicious story. >:C

jaredvcxz: In that case carry on.

Calm down ladies, there's plenty of Bandit to go around


Calm down ladies, there's plenty of Bandit to go around
Shook: If college doesn't crush the life out of you first. ;o

Zero_Ctrl: To be honest, Trooth, I think we'd be okay if you updated once every two weeks.
So long as you're consistent, that's all I care about.

Unlike VG Cats.

eh, heh heh heh.

Yeah, I was a fan of VG cats back in like 2004, when UT2K4 was new, and that site still had a regular updating schedule, and I had no idea what a furry was.

Nowadays that site is like "oh, I made a 0.5% effort comic about pokemon that does not so much as appeal to people's nostalgia factor" and also "hey, care about my weeaboo blog post"



What was I talking about again?

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

You twirl your fabulous wand in the air again, ordering it to summon all of your good friends to this very shack. With a swirl of light, you soon see sitting before you... The potted fern you keep at home. Well that's odd. You didn't say "fronds." And you certainly have more friends than a potted plant. The dumb wand must be broken. What now? Should you carry your best fronds home?

Zero_Ctrl: Throw your best fronds in the cauldron and say a few magical sounding words.

E: Blame time-zone differences for us not noticing updates. I only check the forums, unless I feel like reading the old ones.

Er, I was making a joke. Apparently a not-very-clever one.

Zero_Ctrl: Oh, derp, I completely missed the sarcasm.
Now I feel like the dumb one.

jaredvcxz: It seems pot is your only friend. Sort of like Trooth's first year of college :3

You abandon your best fronds, throwing them harshly into the sinister stew above the fire. Or perhaps... It isn't a sinister stew... Perhaps it is a delicious stew! As your fronds are boiled alive, they give off a very inviting scent. Are those carrots you spy in there? Why, that must be somebody's delicious food they've prepared! You begin to regret not bringing some sort of spoon or bowl along with you so that you might taste any boiling-hot potentially-delicious food that you come across.

futuramaguy42: Grab the cauldron, and repeatedly slam it into the armoire.

EDIT: Go explore the rest of the house.

jaredvcxz: This is turning out to be a pretty retarded CYOA .-.

It's number guy's fault

Shook: Take a HUGE whiff of the delicious smell from the stew. Or, alternatively, explore the rest of the house. Surely, there's more than a cabinet and a stove in there.

Zero_Ctrl: Burn fronds!

E: Or boil, whatever...

It's number guy's fault
715379: Aaaaaaaaannnddd, how is it?

Put your hat back on, and eat the dresser.

Smash your face against the window.

715379: oh yeah.


Zero_Ctrl: Details XP

Discarding this stupid soup violently in the armoire, you seek out a more interesting attraction in this house. The first door you check opens up to a basement area. There isn't much here, but there was evidently a struggle, with some broken glass present, and various fluids on the floor, which may be blood. There is also a large trunk in the room, making strange thumping noises, and muffled sounds coming from inside. Very strange, but the local rat and lizard have no trouble with it.

Zero_Ctrl: Ask the chest if it's okay.

715379: Take the lizard who's name is Fritzald and keep him as your loyal and faithful companion.

Oh, and check out that chest.

various fluids on the floor
jaredvcxz: Insert perverted statement implying semen here

Zero_Ctrl: I just noticed how wrongly I wrote my suggestion.
Oh well, it's funnier this way.

Zero_Ctrl: Bump...
Maybe people will read this :(

I don't know how you can bump something that stays always at the top of the list.

But this is good now. After I was a day late for the update, then forgot on one more day, I decided I'd just ride it out and see how long it'd take someone to miss me. After all, I require constant love and attention

Zero_Ctrl: ...like a whore.


You dart over to the chest, and give it a tap on its lid. "ARE YOU OKAY, CHEST? DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?" The chest replies "Open this thing up! I got locked in here when everyone was fighting!" "DON'T WORRY, CHEST! I WILL GET YOU OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE MY SPECIAL, PRECIOUS LITTLE PIECE OF FURNITURE!"

Zero_Ctrl: :D
Updates are good.

715379: Take Fritzald the Über Lizard. He WILL come in handy.

Zero_Ctrl: :/
I don't think it works that way.
But hey!
Why the Hell not?!


Happy now?

Zero_Ctrl: Oh hey, week has passed.

Crap, it has. I feel bad now that I purposely delayed a couple times, now that it's legitimately difficult to get an update done. On Monday, my internet connection was being so unnaturally slow that I couldn't really get onto the site at all... Tonight is out of the question, because I've got a mountain of work to do for school. I'll TRY to sit down and do it tomorrow, but I don't know whether my work will be done by then or not. No later than Thursday I can definitely update.

This time I really want to get something drawn. I spent a long time last week re-organizing my art folder and trying to get the "art" section of the main site ready, but that's a low priority for me right now, since I doubt it's a high priority for anyone else.

715379: Well, I check the site a few times a day while I'm browsing through my bookmarks, so I catch updates fairly quick.

If anyone wants to know what I've been going through, read this I mean all of it

Zero_Ctrl: :O
That's quite a few words.

Back to Chapter 1: Assault the Inanimate

On to Chapter 3: The Legend of Fritzald