This text is an official update of the story from the author.

This text is the suggested action the author chose for the main character to perform.

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Chapter 5: A Tower in the Field

With great difficulty, you scramble to your feet and pursue the small children. They dash down the trail laughing and screaming, but you feel like you just might be able to catch them... Just barely. If only there was some way you could grab them! As you're passing some farm land, the kids leave the trail and scramble into a tree in a field of tall grass. Once there, they taunt you with your recently-lost cheese. What's a fabulous bandit with bound arms to do?

Zero_Ctrl: Run into the tree repeatedly in an attempt to knock the kids out of it.

I've also been feeling that itch lately like I should be doing more with the site. Like some other weekly artistic production I could be posting.
jaredvcxz: Shepry & Koen but with lasers. And more tits.

715379: Blow up the tree.

Zero_Ctrl: Nearly a whole month without any news.

Well I'm still alive. It's midterm season, and I'm buried deep in work right now. My spring break starts soon though, so hopefully I won't get assigned any massive projects over that week. Don't forget about the site, because I haven't.

Zero_Ctrl: Good to hear you're still alive, despite being under the stress of a thousand papers.

mate0123: IT'S ALIVEEE!!

ok, don't worry too much bout posting the next part, we're used to wait for it, so no pressure :P

I wish people did more user-made CYOAs. Atomic Duck's was pretty great. Sometimes I want to be on the other end of the CYOA process too

Plus maybe it would distract people from my irregular updating if they had something else to focus on

SgtKinuzzo: Wouldn't distract me much. Though waiting is a virtue, so you might as well take advantage of that case.

Zero_Ctrl: I'd try, but I hate missing updates.
Mixed with a terrible case of procrastination, and there's a pretty sad CYOA there.

jaredvcxz: Then don't set an update schedule. Just tell us you'll update when you get the chance.

Shook: Well ok then i'll start one. Being the lazy fuck i am, i'll just copy the start from another place where i did/am doing on. Maybe change it a little. But hey, nobody will know! :U

Well I'm glad to see the site didn't die while I was away. I'm working on an update now so it'll probably be online tonight before anyone even sees it.

You repeatedly slam your body into the tree trunk, hoping to rattle / intimidate the thieving little children out of it. Several arduous minutes later, all that you have gained is a battered face and a bird's nest falling on your head... But that might just be a delirious hallucination.

The kids yell at you too. "We ate the cheese, mister! Go away now! You're scary!" But they might just be hallucinations too.

mate0123: whoa throoth, welcome back! i feel like i should be typing something else here but i forgot :P well, about the story... i really didn't expect a situation like this lol, maybe if you ask the farmer who was in the background before he will untie you?

jaredvcxz: Don't. He's a zombie farmer.

Zero_Ctrl: Sleuth diplomacy.
Shit wrong comic.

Rage at the children, telling them that your generation is better than theirs.

715379: Take the kids hostage until you get more cheese.

Link_to_Future: It's simple. Take the bird in as a pet and train it to attack the children in the tree.

That is obviously the simplest and most sane way of going about this.

jaredvcxz: ^This

You hobble your crazy ass on over to the farmer, busy tilling the ground. "DUDE BRO," you yell at him, "Halp me out ovar hear. Sum stoopid kids took my cheeze! And dey tie me up! Let me loos frum here, and I can git even wif dem!"

The farmer stares at you. "Son, you've got more problems than I care to count. How about you just wait here and I go get someone who can properly help ya."

Well that wasn't very helpful. The farmer walks off after he says this, but how can you know if he's ever going to come back? Should you follow him? Wait there? Work out some way to help yourself?

Link_to_Future: Declare this land upon which you stand to be yours. This shall be the start of your mighty kingdom. You shall be prepared to defend it with your life.

715379: Then use your wand to try to build a giant fortress to defend your land.

mate0123: ^ that

I might have to combine the suggestions this time

Link_to_Future: Do it. They're just adding upon the same thought. :P

It is now the proclamation of Unnamed Bandit Guy that this shall henceforth be the land of... Unnamed Bandit Guy! Though your arms are still bound by your own belt, you can barely reach your wand. Using all of your recently-gained knowledge and experience of magical devices, you try to determine some way to adorn your new homeland with something fitting for a ruler.

And in a dazzling display of magical talent... er... luck, a fortified tower manifests itself on the spot! You can stand here and survey all your vast lands now! And... That's apparently ALL you can do, as there isn't any sort of door in either the top or the bottom of the tower. The spell you just made up must have reflected your imprisoned state. Now what?

715379: Make a turret defense system that fires baguettes.

Dude what

Aw man this was the 4444th forum post. I should have made it something cooler

jaredvcxz: And here I am refraining from posting for fear of making the super awesome last post of the story arc being retarded or some shit, and then this guy posts instead.

715379: You're welcome.

Make a turret defense system that fires baguettes.
Zero_Ctrl: Sure.
What the hell?

Shook: Make that flaming and spinning magma baguettes. Everything's better with flames, spinning and magma.

You finally seem to have gotten the hang of this "magic" junk, and make a batch of cannons that fire french bread in any direction around your tower. They automatically fire when they detect motion, mildly annoying anyone who passes by. This is helpful, since your hands still aren't free.

It is perhaps a little unfortunate that you didn't make an exit for this tower, and that you never got yourself untied. But at least you have an infinte source of food up there, so you won't starve. You've pretty much ruined the farmer's land, and he has no desire to reclaim it lest he be pummeled by baguettes. The local military considered performing a siege on your tower, but ultimately decided it would be a waste of time. In the end, your mildly annoying tower went ignored, but did become a sort of landmark among the community. You ruled your lonely home with a breaded fist.


Back to Chapter 4: The Power of Cheese

On to Chapter 1 of the second story